This might help you see how to come up with a precise proof: consider the relation $R$ on the set $\{1, 2\}$ given by $1R1, 2R1, 1R2$. $R$ is not an equivalence relation (why?), but we can still (in analogy with equivalence classes) define the "$R$-class" of an element $x$ to be the set of $y$ which are $R$-related to $x$.
Now, is $2$ in the $R$-class of $2$? Well, for that to be the case, we'd have to have $2R2$, but we don't; so $2$ is not in its own $R$-class!
If you think about this for a bit, I think you'll see how to write a precise proof that any element is an element of its own equivalence class with respect to an equivalence relation . . .