An important part of the 'identity' of a relation is that it has a 'signature': the order relation $\leq$ on the real numbers is specifically a "Binary relation on $\mathbb{R}$ and $\mathbb{R}$".
We could define two other relations:
- The binary relation $\star$ on $\mathbb{C}$ and $\mathbb{C}$ given by "$r \star s$ if and only if $r$ and $s$ are both real and $r \leq s$".
- The unary predicate $P$ on $\mathbb{R} \times \mathbb{R}$ given by "$(r,s)$ has property $P$ if and only if $r \leq s$"
But all of these relations have the same graph! That is, all three of the following sets are equal:
$$ \{ (r,s) \in \mathbb{R} \times \mathbb{R} \mid r \leq s \} $$
$$ \{ (r,s) \in \mathbb{C} \times \mathbb{C} \mid r \star s \} $$
$$ \{ x \in \mathbb{R} \times \mathbb{R} \mid P(x) \} $$
Thus, in isolation, the graph of a relation is insufficient to completely specify what relation is under consideration. That is the point being made.
One method to completely specify the relation is as an object that contains both its signature and its graph; e.g. if I name the set defined above as $R$, then the triple $(\mathbb{R}, \mathbb{R}, R)$ specifies that we are talking about $\leq$. Similarly, $(\mathbb{C}, \mathbb{C}, R)$ indicates $\star$ and $(\mathbb{R} \times \mathbb{R}, R)$ indicates $P$.
Now, in some situations, we might have context that tells us what the signature is, so the graph is enough to specify the relation. Similarly in a situation where we don't care to distinguish between $\leq$, $\star$, and $P$, we again might just use the graph if we feel the need to represent the relation in terms of sets.