3

Currently I'm following a master of mathematics at the university of Amsterdam and beforehand I must say that I'm very grateful for the opportunities that are given to me.

So to get to the point. I really am curious about mathematics the only thing is when I have to study for my courses I very soon hate the subject because of the academic pressure. The reason why I start hating the subject is because I cannot guide my own learning path, which really really frustrates me and sucks away my life energy. Also I have conflict with the often fragmented nature of courses given at university. As a result of this I even got depressive and lost the energy to pursue my own pet projects such as playing guitar and programming.

My personal goal is to really understand mathematics. But I cannot learn anymore in a academic environment, it stresses me out and makes me deeply unhappy.

The main reason I'm posting this on math.stackexchange is because I'm curious about an alternative path in which I can regain my pleasure in mathematics again and get the credentials of achieving mastery of the subject. What I was thinking about myself is that I just pursue my own interests and that I will just write a master thesis, following no courses what so ever. But I have to talk this through with my master coordinator.

What do you gentlemen think? Please be honest!

Pim
  • 291
  • I really sympathize with what you say. Why do you want to have the credentials of mastery ? – Rene Schipperus Dec 15 '16 at 20:30
  • Good question, I think in my opinion its because I think I cannot pursue what I love without having the credentials. While the contemporary reality is that the ¨chase¨, by lack of better words, prevents me from having any fun and fulfillment out of the subject. A weird conundrum isn't it? – Pim Dec 15 '16 at 20:34
  • But the most basic essence I just need to be free or something very similar. So actually the real problem is to find a way I can earn money without the total hazel of losing all your power. – Pim Dec 15 '16 at 20:35
  • Its a difficult problem. If you are planning a career in academics, then your situation will only get worse. You will have the pressure to publish and will lose all power. On the other hand the only thing a degree is good for these days is an entry into academics. If you want the degree for internal psychological reasons, then you should realise that to "really understand mathematics" is not something that any university can give you. You must achieve that on your own. Having the degree doesn't mean anything apart for what you intend to use it. – Rene Schipperus Dec 15 '16 at 21:06
  • Really good advice Rene. You put it exactly like it is, thanks! – Pim Dec 15 '16 at 21:26
  • Try to think in a positive way: you are doing what you like and you take it for your merit (other people can not); there are other people who have problems in the university (professors and students) and they try the best possible daily; if your project is to study and enjoy with mathematics because it is part of your life, outside the university your possibilities are much lesser. If you are in your university at this degree of studies I don't know who are you but I've faith in you, because necessarly you did efforts in your studies in the past. –  Dec 17 '16 at 22:03
  • I did put effort in "my" studies in the past. The problem is though that my interests are too deep and too broad for the curriculum, also I don't like time pressure. My ideal situation would be that I could choose my own path of study with help of the staff. This is not possible in the current system that focusses more on grading then on deep comprehension. – Pim Dec 18 '16 at 22:59
  • At this moment of time I'm going to focus fully on programming and do some functional analysis on the side. My ideal situation would be that I could show my work I did to the university staff and maybe get some credentials for it. – Pim Dec 18 '16 at 23:02
  • After more then I year I read back this thread and I couldn`t solve my problems regarding university. I now have some master courses under my belt and some working experience as a data analist at a startup. Since a weeks I decided to find a job in data analysis and keep my mathematical search as a hobby. – Pim May 21 '18 at 21:19
  • The only object with respect to mathematics is to go and understand it without any ulterior objective whatsoever. – Pim May 21 '18 at 21:22

1 Answers1

2

Academic pressure is inevitable. There is no use fretting about it. You should squeeze some time out of your schedule and reserve the same only for personal hobbies like playing guitar (as you mentioned). I am myself a synthesizer and a harmonium player and I find this very engrossing. As far as maths is concerned, I can tell you about my own thumb rule. Just introspect about the concepts little more deeply. Maths is the only subject in this world which offers so much of variations. I do this personally. As an example just think why is $|\mathbb{N}|$ and $|\mathbb{2N}|$ same ? I have just removed half the elements from the set and still they have the same cardinality. I try to think about what would have happened if this was not true. How our lives would have changed ? Introspection along these lines helped me a lot and continues to help me. I even sit and contemplate on God and sing His glory and thank Him, the supreme mathematician, the Cosmic Infinity for blessing us all with mathematics.

This may not be a direct answer to your question but just a thought which I couldn't resist sharing. Cheers.

creative
  • 3,539