I think @fly by night and I have the same basic intuition for why $\mathfrak{m}/\mathfrak{m}^2$ is the cotangent space (see my answer here for basically a recapitulation of the comment.) But let's see how to see that its duel is the tangent space without this knowledge.
For question $1$: For me, the clarifying interpretation comes from the definition of the tangent space in terms of "derivations." For each $v \in T_p(X)$, we are allowed to take a directional derivative with respect to this vector. In this way, the vectors in the tangent space can be identified with linear functions $D:k[x,y,z]/(f) \to k$ ( recall that the quotient should be thought of as functions well defined on the sphere) that satisfy the leibniz rule $D(fg)=f(p)D(f)+g(p)D(p)$.
Given your definition of $\mathfrak{m}_p$, we can take the actual definition of ideal multiplication to be
$$\mathfrak{m}_p^2:=\{\sum_{k} f_kg_k: f_k, g_k \in \mathfrak{m}_p \}.$$
From this, it is clear that by the Leibniz rule, every function $D$ will vanish on $\mathfrak{m}_p^2$, (these are functions that vanish at $p$ and whose derivatives fanish as well) making it the case that every $D \in T_p(X)$ will descend to a map
$$D: \mathfrak{m}/\mathfrak{m}^2 \to k$$
which is exactly the dual of the cotangent space. The quotient has a nice heuristic in that it captures first order behaviors of functions on a variety, and it takes equivalence classes of functions up to their first order behavior by quotienting by $\mathfrak{m}^2$
For question 2: I have a blog post on this for curves, that might help.
However, you can form the local ring
$(K[x,y]/(x^3+y^3-3xy))_{(x,y)}$
and we can form the cotangent space, but
$\tilde{x},\tilde{y} \in \mathfrak{m}/\mathfrak{m}^2$, and these two area linearly independent over $k$, so the dimension of the cotangent space is too large (it is $2$.)
I suppose this formula is reflecting the fact that for a polynomial,
$p(x)=F_m(x)+ F_{m+1}(x)+ \dots+ F_n(x)$, where $F_i$ are all homogeneous of degree $i$, we can see that we can define the multiplicity of $p$ at $(0,0)$ to be precisely $m$ (the least degree homogoenouos component.) Using the usual rules of deriviative, we need that $m>0$ for the curve to go through $(0,0)$ and the degree $m=1$ for the polynomial to be nonsingular. If $m>1$, $(0,0)$ is a double point, triple point, etc.
In your case, the $2$-dimensionality of the (co)tangent space is reflected in the fact that
$$p(x)=(x^3+y^3)-(3xy)$$
so $m(p)=2$, so it is a double point and in fact the quadratic component factors into two lines $x=0$, $3y=0$ (which if you graph the function, you will see is correct.)
Moreover, this agrees with a more analytic flavor of argument since if we study
$p(x)$ as $x,y \to (0,0)$ the least degree part of the polynomial dominates the rest, since they shrink rapidly, so $p(x,y) \sim -3xy$ near zero.
See chapter 3.2 of the curve book for the melding of the local ring and this notion of multiplicity.