First note that
$$
\langle T(a), a \rangle = \overline{\langle a, T(a) \rangle} = \langle a, T(a) \rangle = \langle T^*(a), a \rangle
$$
for any $a \in V$. We get the second equality since the conjugate of a real number is itself and the other equalities are obtained from definitions. We can use the derived equality, $\langle T(a), a \rangle = \langle T^*(a), a \rangle$, for $a = x + y$ and $a = x + iy$ for any $x, y \in V$. Using properties of linear transformations and inner products, we get
$$
\langle T(x + y), x + y \rangle = \langle T^*(x + y), x + y \rangle \\
\langle T(x) + T(y), x + y \rangle = \langle T^*(x) + T^*(y), x + y \rangle \\
\langle T(x), x \rangle + \langle T(x), y \rangle + \langle T(y), x \rangle + \langle T(y), y \rangle = \langle T^*(x), x \rangle + \langle T^*(x), y \rangle + \langle T^*(y), x \rangle + \langle T^*(y), y \rangle.
$$
But $\langle T(x), x \rangle = \langle T^*(x), x \rangle$ and $\langle T(y), y \rangle = \langle T^*(y), y \rangle$, so those terms cancel to give
$$
\langle T(x), y \rangle + \langle T(y), x \rangle = \langle T^*(x), y \rangle + \langle T^*(y), x \rangle.\tag{1}
$$
Similarly, for $a = x + iy$, you just need the extra step of taking out the factor $i$ and you will get
$$
-i\langle T(x), y \rangle + i\langle T(y), x \rangle = -i\langle T^*(x), y \rangle + i\langle T^*(y), x \rangle.
$$
Dividing out by $-i$ gives
$$
\langle T(x), y \rangle - \langle T(y), x \rangle = \langle T^*(x), y \rangle - \langle T^*(y), x \rangle. \tag{2}
$$
Add equations $(1)$ and $(2)$ and divide by $2$ to get
$$
\langle T(x), y \rangle = \langle T^*(x), y \rangle \\
\langle (T - T^*)(x), y \rangle = 0
$$
for any $x, y \in V$. So we can take $y = (T - T^*)(x)$ to get $\langle (T - T^*)(x), (T - T^*)(x) \rangle = 0$ which implies $(T - T^*)(x) = 0$ for any $x \in V$. Thus, $T - T^* = O$, ie. $T = T^*$ which means $T$ is self adjoint.
I don't think this is true for real inner product space since we can't use $x + iy$ so we can't prove this.