The derivative of the Dirac delta works exactly through the integration-by-parts scheme you've mentioned,
$$(Df,\phi)=-(f, D\phi),$$
i.e. $\delta'(x)$ is the generalized function which returns for arbitrary $f$
$$
\int f(x) \delta'(x) \mathrm dx = -f'(0).
$$
Multiplying $\delta'(x)$ by some regular function is essentially equivalent to doing the same with $f(x)$, so that
\begin{align}
(f, \alpha \, \delta')
& = \int f(x) \alpha(x)\delta'(x) \mathrm dx
\\ & = -\frac{\mathrm d}{\mathrm dx}\left[ f(x)\alpha(x)\right]_{x=0}
\\ & = - \alpha'(0) f(0) - \alpha(0) f'(0)
\\ & = - \alpha'(0) \,(f,\delta) + \alpha(0)\, (f,\delta')
\\ & = (f,- \alpha'(0)\,\delta + \alpha(0)\,\delta')
\end{align}
as required.