Your problem is typical constraint satisfaction problem which in your case can be formulated as a generalized cover set problem. Some condition should be satisfied exactly once (there is one and only one patch per place); some should be satisfied at most once (one or zero patches adjacent to the edge can be white); some conditions should be satisfied no more than 2 times (among patches on diagonal 1w 5w 1w, we can have any two of them, but not 3).
Unfortunately, I couldn't easily find the solver for a generalized cover set problem and I was too lazy to write it myself. So instead, I strengthened the last condition which is now:
- There should be at least 2 squares on the diagonal between two patches of same pattern and color
In that case, we don't have “no more than 2 times condition” and we can reformulate the problem in terms of graphs.
Consider all the possible placements of all the possible patches as nodes of a graph (21 patches × 9 rows × 14 columns = 2646 nodes). For example, node 1a1w means row 1, column a, pattern 1w. Now, if two nodes share the placement or the rule, we connect them by an edge. For example, 5b1w—5b6t (two patches cannot be at the same place); 5a4t-6a6t (two adjacent patches cannot have the same color) etc.
By doing that, We will get a big graph (2646 nodes, 80081 edges):

In that graph we want to find an independent set of vertices of size 9×14. Luckily there is a function for that in Wolfram Mathematica.
Below I will show a couple of quilts I found, so your wife can choose the best-looking one:
9×14
2t 5b 4t 3r 2t 5r 7w 3n 5b 2t 3r 5b 2t 3r
5r 4w 2b 1w 5b 3w 2b 7t 3r 1b 2n 3w 5r 2b
1b 2t 5r 4t 1n 2t 3r 5w 2b 3w 5r 2b 3n 5w
3r 5b 1w 2n 3r 5b 7w 3n 5r 2t 1b 5w 2t 3r
2b 6w 3n 5b 2t 3w 5r 2b 3w 5b 2n 3r 5b 2n
1n 2t 5w 3r 6n 2b 3n 5w 6t 3r 5w 2b 3w 5r
3w 5r 1b 2t 5w 6t 1b 3r 5b 2n 1b 5r 2t 1b
5b 1n 3w 5r 2b 1w 5r 6n 2t 5r 3n 4w 5b 3r
1w 3r 2n 1b 3r 5b 6t 2b 3r 1n 2b 3r 1w 2b
5r 2b 3n 5r 1b 3n 5w 1b 2t 5r 1b 4n 2b 5r
1b 3r 5w 2b 3w 5r 2b 3r 1w 2b 6w 5b 3r 7t
2t 5b 6t 3r 5b 2t 1n 5b 3n 4t 5r 1n 6t 2b
3r 1w 2b 5w 7t 1b 3r 2t 5r 3w 1b 2t 5r 4t
5b 2t 3r 1n 2b 5r 4t 3n 1b 2t 3r 5b 4w 1b
2n 5r 1b 2t 5w 3n 1b 7t 3w 5b 2n 1w 7t 3w
1b 3w 7t 5b 1n 2b 3r 4w 5r 1w 6t 3n 2b 5r
5r 7n 2b 3w 7t 5r 4t 1b 2t 3r 1b 5r 3w 1b
2b 5w 3r 2t 5b 1w 2b 3r 1w 5b 3w 1n 5b 3r
2t 5r 1b 7t 5r 3w 2b 4t 3r 5w 1b 3r 5b 2t
5b 4t 3r 5w 2b 7t 3r 5b 4w 2b 5r 7t 2n 5r
3r 2b 7t 1b 3n 5r 1b 2t 5r 1w 2t 5b 3w 1n
7t 5r 1w 3r 7t 2b 4n 3r 2b 4t 1b 3r 4t 2b
1b 3w 2b 7n 5r 3w 2t 5b 1w 3n 5w 2b 1w 5r
3r 1n 5r 2t 1b 7n 5r 2n 3r 1b 2t 5r 6t 1b
2t 5b 1w 3r 7t 2b 3n 1b 6n 5r 3w 4t 2b 3r
1b 3r 2t 1b 3n 5r 2t 3r 5w 2b 4n 6w 5r 2t
5r 2b 3w 5r 2b 4t 5b 2n 1b 3r 5b 2t 6n 5b
5r 2b 7t 1b 3r 2b 5r 7t 1b 6t 3r 2t 1n 3r
1b 4t 3r 2n 5b 4t 1b 3r 7n 2b 6n 3w 2b 7n
2t 5r 1n 3w 2t 5r 3w 1n 6t 3r 2t 5b 3n 1b
5b 1w 2b 5r 3n 2b 7t 5r 2b 6n 5r 2n 6t 3r
3r 6t 5w 1b 4t 3r 5b 6w 3r 2t 1b 3w 5r 2t
7w 5b 3r 6t 5b 7t 3w 1b 6t 5b 3r 6t 2b 5w
5r 7t 1b 5w 3r 2b 6n 5r 1w 6n 2b 5r 4t 3r
1b 3w 5r 2b 6t 5r 7t 6w 5b 3r 7t 1b 5w 2t
3r 5b 7t 3r 5b 6w 2b 3r 6t 1b 5r 2t 3r 5b
11×11
6w 3r 5w 1b 3r 2t 5r 1b 7t 5b 2t
5b 1n 4t 3w 6t 1n 2b 6t 5w 3r 1b
3r 6w 1b 5r 2b 3r 4t 5r 1b 2t 5r
6t 5b 3r 6t 1w 5b 7w 2b 4t 5w 2b
5r 3w 4t 2b 5r 7t 3r 1w 5b 3r 7t
2t 1b 5w 7t 3n 1b 6w 5r 2t 6w 5b
3r 7w 2b 5r 1w 3r 7t 6n 1b 5r 6t
7t 5r 3w 1n 5b 7n 1b 3r 6t 2b 3r
5b 3n 1b 7t 3r 1w 6t 2n 5b 3n 2t
3r 1w 5r 3w 1n 5b 3r 1b 2t 5r 1b
4t 5b 3n 1b 5r 6t 2b 5r 7n 2b 3r
5r 1b 6w 3r 2b 5r 3w 2b 6t 1b 2t
2b 3r 7t 5w 1n 2t 5b 4t 2n 5r 4w
3w 5b 1w 2n 5b 6w 2n 3r 5b 2t 7n
5r 2t 3r 1b 2t 5r 1w 2b 4t 3w 5r
2b 3w 6t 5r 3w 2b 6t 5r 1b 6t 2b
6w 5r 2b 6n 1b 3r 5b 6n 2t 5b 3r
5b 6t 3r 4t 5r 6t 2n 4t 5r 3n 4t
3r 1b 5w 2b 4n 5b 3r 2b 4n 1b 2n
6t 5r 2t 3r 7t 2n 1b 5w 3r 2t 5b
5b 3w 1b 5w 2b 4t 5r 3n 2b 5w 3r
3r 2b 5r 4t 3r 5b 2t 1b 5r 3n 1b
3r 2b 5r 1n 6t 2b 5r 7t 2b 5r 3n
5b 1w 6t 2b 3r 1w 2t 5b 3r 6w 5b
2t 5r 1b 3n 4t 5b 3n 6t 5w 2b 6t
1b 6n 2t 5r 1b 2t 5r 1b 6n 5r 3w
6t 3r 5b 1n 6t 3r 2b 7t 3r 4t 5b
5r 1b 6n 4t 2n 5b 1w 2n 5b 3w 2t
2b 6t 3r 2b 5r 6t 3n 5r 1w 2b 3n
1w 5b 2t 6n 1b 3r 2t 1b 3n 5r 1b
5r 2n 1b 3r 6t 2n 5b 3r 6t 1n 5w
2b 4t 5r 1w 2b 5r 3w 2b 5w 3r 2b
3r 1b 2t 5b 3r 1b 2t 5r 1b 2t 7w
2b 6n 5r 2n 1b 5r 7n 1b 2t 3w 5b
3r 7t 2b 5w 3r 2b 6t 5r 7n 1b 3r
1b 5w 3n 1b 2t 3w 5b 2n 3r 5w 2b
5r 2b 1w 3r 5b 6t 1w 7t 2b 3n 5r
6t 3r 5b 2n 7t 5w 2b 3r 5w 2t 1b
1b 7n 2t 5r 1b 3n 5r 2t 1b 5r 4w
7t 2b 1w 7n 3r 2t 1w 5b 3r 4t 5b
5b 3r 7t 2b 5w 1n 2b 4t 5w 1b 3r
2n 1b 5w 3r 1b 5r 4n 3r 2t 5r 7t
3r 2t 1n 5b 2t 4w 5b 2n 1b 3w 5b
1b 5r 2b 1w 5r 2b 3r 1w 5r 2b 3r
10×12
5r 2b 7n 3r 4t 5r 2b 4t 5r 2b 3w 5b
6t 3r 4w 6t 5w 1b 7t 5b 3n 1w 5r 2n
3w 7t 5b 4n 3r 6t 5w 2t 1b 3r 2t 1b
2t 5w 3r 2b 1w 5r 2b 3r 5w 2b 1n 3r
5r 2b 4t 3w 2t 1b 6t 5b 2n 1w 5b 2t
1b 3r 5w 1b 6w 4t 5r 2t 1b 5r 2n 1b
3w 1n 2b 5r 1n 3r 2b 1n 3r 2b 1w 3r
2t 5b 3r 2t 5b 6t 3n 5b 2t 3w 5b 2t
5r 3n 7t 1b 3n 2b 5r 3w 1b 5r 4t 1b
3w 2b 4n 5r 2t 3r 7t 2b 3r 6t 2b 5r
5b 2t 3r 5b 1w 3r 2t 5r 6w 1b 3r 5b
3r 5w 2b 3w 5r 1b 3w 2b 7t 5r 2n 7t
2b 3n 5r 1n 2b 7t 5r 6t 1b 2t 5b 3r
5w 1b 3w 5b 7w 3r 2b 7n 5r 3n 6t 2b
3n 5r 2t 3r 1b 2n 7w 3r 2b 7t 3w 5r
2b 7t 5b 1w 3n 7t 1n 5b 4t 2n 5b 1w
5r 1b 3r 2t 5w 1b 3r 2t 5r 1b 4t 2b
3w 2t 1w 5r 2b 3n 5b 1n 2b 4w 1n 5r
2b 3r 5b 1n 3w 5r 2t 3w 4n 5b 3r 7t
5r 1b 2t 3r 1b 7t 3r 5b 1w 3n 5w 2b
3r 2b 5r 1w 3r 2b 5r 1w 2b 5r 6t 2b
5b 3w 1b 2n 5b 7w 2t 5b 3r 7t 5b 3r
2t 5r 4t 3r 2t 5r 1b 7n 5w 3n 2t 1b
3r 1b 5w 7t 3w 2b 7t 3r 6t 2b 3w 5r
5b 7t 3r 5b 1n 6t 5r 2b 4n 5r 6t 2b
7w 5r 1b 2t 5r 3n 1b 6t 3r 4t 5b 3r
1b 2t 5w 3r 2b 5w 3r 1n 5b 3n 2t 5w
5r 3n 2b 7t 3w 1b 6t 2b 4t 5r 3w 2b
2b 5w 3r 1b 5r 2n 1w 5r 6w 1b 4t 3r
3r 2t 5b 3w 2t 5b 3r 6t 5b 3r 1w 5b
5b 4t 1b 2t 5r 1b 2n 5b 3r 2t 1b 5r
3w 2b 5r 1n 2b 3w 5r 2t 1w 5b 3r 2b
4t 3r 2n 5b 4t 2n 1b 3r 2b 1n 5w 3n
2n 5b 4t 3r 1b 5r 2t 1n 5w 3r 1b 5r
3r 2t 5r 4n 2t 1w 3r 2b 4t 5b 3w 2b
5w 4n 2b 1w 3n 4t 5b 6t 3r 2t 5r 3n
2b 1w 3n 5r 1b 3r 4n 1b 5w 3n 2b 5w
4w 3r 5b 2t 4w 5b 7t 3w 2b 5r 3w 1b
5r 2b 4t 1b 3r 4t 2b 5r 3n 2t 5b 3r
7t 4n 3w 5r 2t 1b 3r 2t 5b 3r 7t 5w