You are asking two different questions.
In a direct proof: Prove $P$ or $Q$. Pf: Bunch of stuff...... therefore $P$ is true. And if $P$ is true then $P$ or $Q$ is true. SO $P$ or $Q$.
That's an utterly valid and correct proof.
In a proof: by contradiction: Prove "$P$ or $Q$" is not true. Pf: If we assume $P$ we get a contradiction $R$ that we know is not true. So as $P \implies (P\lor Q)$. And $P \implies R$. We have a contradiction is completely invalid. and wrong.
It's wrong because $P \implies (P\lor Q)$. But $(P\lor Q) \not \implies P$. So we haven't proven anything and we have not reached the contradiction yet. $Q\lor P$ was a contradiction but $P$ is not the only way to get $Q\lor P$.
On the other hand if $(P\lor Q)$ does lead to a contradiction we can conclude that $P$ is false, because $P$ would imply $(P\lor Q)$ which implies the contradiction. That is valid.
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But you seem to be arguing that if assuming $p$ or $q$ leads to a contradiction but it's because $p$ and not $q$ that lead to the contradiction that that wouldn't be valid. That's not logical because $p$ only can't lead to a contradiction because $p$ need not be true for $p$ and $q$ to be true.
If I assume "Either The moon is made of blue cheese or $7$ is prime" I won't be able to reach a contradiction based on "The moon is made of blue cheese" alone.
To have "Either the moon is made of blue cheese or $7$ is prime" to lead to a contradiction we must have all three of these statements lead to a contradiction:
The moon is made of blue cheese and $7$ is prime must lead to a contradiction (it could because the moon is not made of blue cheese)
The moon is made of blue cheese and $7$ is not prime must lead to a contradiction (it could because the moon is not made of blue cheese and $7$ is prime).
The moon is not made of blue cheese and $7$ is prime must lead to a contradiction (IMPOSSIBLE.... The moon isn't made of blue cheese and $7$ is prime so this can't ever lead to a contradiction!)
So "The moon is made of blue cheese or 7 is prime" can't lead to a contradiction because it IS true.