You're confused, I think, about the definition of a presentation of a group. That's fair enough, since the idea is slightly subtle.
Formally, the idea of a presentation is as follows: you define some generators like $i,j$ and then consider all expressions in the free group on those symbols, which are strings like $iij^{-1}iji^{-1}jjij$ and so on. Then you impose any rules which the relations, like $i^4=1$, tell you. So e.g. $iiiijjij\equiv jjij$. You also assume $ii^{-1}=i^{-1}i=1$ and so on.
You're not allowed to assume that any other rules for manipulating these things apply. Then you ask how the resulting set of strings works under concatenation. This defines unambiguously the group multiplication.
So for example $\left<i|i^n=1\right>$ is a presentation of the cyclic group of order $n$. The trivial group, even though it satisfies without contradiction the relations, is not defined by this presentation, because you cannot use the relations given to deduce $i^1=1$.
Edit: As you say, the idea is that $i^2=1$ in the group defined by the above cyclic relation ($n>2$) holds $\iff$ it is possible to derive this from the relation. The important part of the $\iff$ part is the forwards implication, the contrapositive of which is "if it cannot be shown, then it is not true". Unprovability is essentially what you need to prove! Unsurprisingly this is hard, hence the Novikov–Boone theorem.
The way to deal with these problems is to show that these relations hold $\iff$ (proving both ways) another canonical set do. Then the groups must be the same.
(As pointed out in your other question, you can deduce unprovability by explicitly constructing a model which violates the statement, though this in general is hard. For simple problems it should work.)